Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
