wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
