Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
