This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
