Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
