Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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