Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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