Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
