I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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