Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
