Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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