if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
