plz talk dirty to me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
