I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just google imaged poop.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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