yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
