What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
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But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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