Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
