Soap is not a condiment
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
