Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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