census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize