remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize