he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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