i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
please don't ironically join a cult
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