I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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