They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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