I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
