im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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