Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
