I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
