The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
