I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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