Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
