i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
