We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
