I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
