While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
