Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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