Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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