i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
