Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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