I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
