hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
