yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
