You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
