I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
