This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
