NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
