there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
