hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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