I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
