hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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