You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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