Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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