Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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