I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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