i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
