Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
