dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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